Do we really want the fairytale? That’s what we all say we want, that’s what we all claim to be searching for…right? The happily ever after that we were promised by all of the fairytale’s that we grew up on? Then we grow up go out in the world to find Prince Charming and when we figure out he’s not so charming we start the search again….and again if necessary. I’m starting to wonder does he exist, am I to picky, or do I just not really want the fairytale? The latter of course is always a possibility.
Twice married, engaged, a live in for four years and I’m still looking. The worst part is when I think someone might actually fit what I want in my life I think I have a tendency to run as fast as possible in the other direction. Maybe it’s another one of those areas that is in the category of I know what the wrong guy looks like and I know what unhappiness looks like, but the happy side of love is so foreign and unfamiliar to me that I am just completely and totally unwilling to change.
I am at this point completely willing to admit that since I subscribe to the philosophy that you only get what you give in life and when I have been upset that someone wouldn’t let me in their life in a real way that is a mirror of how far I really allowed them into my own life. I had some huge aha moments on that when my last boyfriend moved out of my house and no one could tell that he had left. I hadn’t let him all the way into my house, let alone my life. Even knowing that, lately I wonder will I change it in the future or continue with the same behavior and keep getting the same results in my life. You do know the definition of insanity right?
Thing is at the end of all the fairytales they told us that they lived happily ever after but they ended the story right after the wedding. So how do we know that Cinderella didn’t have seven kids, leave the Prince and end up living the life of a single mom, while collecting government money for food because the Prince is late with the child support check again….Maybe if we knew the whole story we would have been better prepared for real life.
While I do believe at the end of the day I will keep up my search for my fairytale, I will always think that it’s not really what the fairytales told us it was, but more like what most of us are out there doing. Living day to day the best we can, and really our happiness is on us anyway. So the reality is I am already living in my happily ever after.
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