The dictionary defines strength as: 1) the quality or state of being strong; bodily, or muscular power. 2) Mental power, force or vigor. 3) Moral power, firmness or courage.
I’ve been thinking about the word strength all day. That seems to be my word lately it seems like everyday someone tells me how strong of a woman they think I am. Every time I hear that I laugh a little on the inside because I think that the definition that we have been given for strength is the superficial one and doesn’t even begin to cover what true strength looks like. I learned at a young age how to put up the walls and illusions that look like strength and that is the face of me the world sees.
No one ever sees the other woman that resides inside me. Her motto is “never let them see you cry”, because the world teaches us that to cry or to show our emotion isn’t strong…it’s weak. Yet I tell my clients, my friends, and my daughters that it’s ok to cry. I encourage others to let themselves be seen, and to let their voices be heard and yet I’m a woman that has built so many walls around herself that even the people that know me, don’t know me, they just think they do. When I look in the mirror I still see a woman that couldn’t answer a question about her greatest dreams, because not only does she not share her past, she no longer shares her future.
So what if the true definition of strength resides in all of the things that we are told make us weak. What if to find true courage you have to be willing to be perceived as weak, and vulnerable. What if to truly conquer the world you have to go out into it and do battle with your shields down and your emotions on your sleeve for the whole world to see. In a world that is full of people trying to be unseen what if true strength lies in being seen….completely seen.
What if strength isn’t in not asking for others to help, but true strength is in being able to ask. To be privileged enough to have people to ask. Some people don’t have anyone.
What if our strength wasn’t in all of the burdens that we pile on our shoulders. What if the real strength came not only from the ones that we were willing to take on, but greater strength was found in the ones that we are willing to let go of.
What if strength didn’t lie in the lack of tears we cry, but in the amount of tears we cry. What if the motto could change from “never let them see you cry”, to “always let them see you cry.” I bet there would be less tears in the world when we all just stopped holding them back.
What if strength didn’t lie in the walls we build around our hearts, but only in the complete transparency of our hearts. In never being afraid to let someone see you. Trust me, being the invisible woman isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
What if true strength in a relationship was learning your lessons together then knowing when it’s time to move on. Understanding that letting go is part of life’s process…everything here on earth is temporary anyway. What if we could just let go of the attachments to love and just be love. Isn’t that the gift in our relationships anyway….love?
What if strength wasn’t in making a mistake, but in never taking a chance. The biggest mistakes in the world will never take the place of the feeling you get when you take a chance and hit the jackpot.
What if strength wasn’t really in the numbers like the old cliché’ says, but in the heart of one soul that wakes up and realizes that they can make a difference. Not standing in someone else’s shadow, but proud in the light you came here to shine.
With these as my guiding principles for what true strength embodies I can honestly say that everyday I am becoming stronger and stronger. As I become more and more aware of who I am, and become less and less afraid of letting others see me I feel a strength inside me that is like nothing I have ever felt before. In redefining strength I am finding it hiding in the shadows of what I thought were my greatest weaknesses.
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